Thursday, August 31, 2006

Ray Stevens!

Need a little cheering up? Something to laugh about? Give these songs a try. Just a taste of my favorites.

Mississippi Squirrel Revival
Ray Stevens
the music

Well, when I was a kid I'd take a trip every summer down the Mississipp'
To visit my granny in her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long climbin' trees free as a song
And one day I happened to catch myself a squirrel
Well, I stuffed him down in an old shoe box, punched a couple of holes in the top
And when Sunday came I snuck him into church
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew showin' him to my good buddy Hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk
Well, what happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was heaven, others thought it was hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see
As the choir sang "I Surrender All" the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
Harv leaped to his feet and said, "Somethin's got a hold on me", Yeow!

Ray Stevens
the music

He's free as the breeze
He's always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s
He's got a union card and he's practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he's gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chet's guitar course C.O.D.
Like A and E and he's working on B
Digs W&W and R&B and even the chimpanzees agree
That someday soon he'll be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it.

I'm My Own Grandpa
Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Sung by Ray Stevens
the music

Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

Thursday, August 24, 2006

The Light

I’ve been reading an Islam book that started an interesting conversation with one of the women at work during one of my breaks. Interesting, and yet redundant. Yet another person who grew up in the church and was put off by the hypocrisy, narrow-mindedness, holier-than-thou and judgemental “Christians”. It is unfortunate that we get in the way of people’s view of God. We have a serious responsibility to represent Christ in EVERY part of our lives at every minute of the day. A daunting task in many respects. I’ve been reading 1 John and it talks about this. As I read it I get the chorus of a DC Talk song go through my head:

“I want to be in the light, as You are in the light
I want to shine like the stars in the Heavens
Oh Lord be my light and be my salvation,
all I want is to be in the light!”

“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin…. And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments…. Those who obey God’s work truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.”
--1 John 1:5-7, 2:3+5+6
I keep catching myself in a 'darkness' attitude. Especially at work. I don't necessarily like working with a few of the people I have to work with, and I find myself working mechanically just so I don't say nasty sarcastic things. But what kind of witness is that? If I am to walk in the light, I need to do more than just refrain from saying or doing harmful things. I need to be proactive. Cheerfully give my all when I work, to the benefit of the customers, my co-workers, and my employers, regardless of whether I like them or not. Because when I do that, I'm not really doing it for them but for God, and His character is reflected. I can't make people change their minds about who God is and what He's like, but I can to the best of my ability copy Jesus' example and maybe one day they'll not see me but see Jesus inside of me. Above all things, this is what I want. To be invisible, letting the Light shine through me unhindered.

Saturday, August 12, 2006

The plot for world domination

You HAVE to watch this interview. Click on the link and the interview is on the bottom left-hand corner of the page. Brigitte Gabriel talks about growing up as a Christian in Lebanon and gives an interesting perspective to the conflicts in the middle east. Even if you have absolutely no interest in what's going on there, it impacts your life and everyone needs to be aware or we'll be next. They are already trying to infiltrate Canada, the US, and making great headway in Europe apparently.
If you can devote and hour to watching interior decorating shows or Oprah or a soap opera, you can manage 45 minutes listening to this.
I know I sound pushy and demanding. But really, how many people will really look at this? Huh? I admit I'll be surprised if I find out ONE person followed the link and watched it. Even if it was just for 2 minutes.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Scissors of Low Intelligence: are they a hazard to society?

A pair of low intelligence scissors was lying on the road today. If they had been smart they would have been lying off to the side where they could stab unsuspecting tires and cause the vehicle careening over into on-coming traffic. Instead, they were lying there right in the middle of the lane.
I wonder how smart my scissors are? I should sit down and have a chat with them.
You know what? They may be smart, but I've found out there's rivalry between them. See, the brown pair is older and more dull. The white pair is newer, sharper, and more popular with the main population in my house.
If you only have one pair of scissors, or if yours get along fine, someday you should ask them these two simple questions and see how they answer:
1) When lying in wait for unsuspecting tires, do you lie in the middle of the lane, or to one side?
2) When falling from a human's hands, is it better to open up and provide more sharp points to stab the toes below, or keep closed and have your full weight come down on one toe?
I suppose then we should also ask "Are you out to get us?"

Monday, August 07, 2006

A random question I hope someone might attempt to answer

You know how a rattlesnake's teeth curve in so that whatever they start eating they can't spit out again? Well, when one starts eating a rabbit from one end and another starts on the other end and they meet in the middle, what goes through the mind of the snake who fits in the mouth of the other? What's he thinking about on his way down to the other's stomach?

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Happy Birthday Grandpa

Here's my Grandpa. He would be turning 80 today.