Thursday, July 27, 2006

five values I want to live my life by

Ok. So, I've thought some more on those personal values and have an idea of what's important to me. I suppose the easiest way is just to slap in here what I wrote in my journal. If it appears a little disjointed, just remember I wrote it as I was figuring it out.
Freedom to do what I want when I want where I want without monetary restrictions. Freedom to give to whoever I want. I guess a lot of Freedom to me is also no putting value on things; possessions. You know? For example, if I felt led to live in the dodgy part of town and invite a socially unacceptable person over for supper, I wouldn't want to worry about missing cutlery. To walk down the street and have no restraints on giving your pocket money to the street artist trying to earn enough money to buy his next meal. Maybe written out this doesn't sound like a part of Freedom, but in my mind (where it matters) it is. So:
1. Freedom
Adventure would be another value that is important to me. I don't want to live a dull humdrum life. I don't want to live the life of security and comfort. I want to be comfortable, but not at the price of Adventure. I want to take that leap (or even just that step) of faith, not knowing what will come of it, but knowing it is right; it is the Adventure. So:
2. Adventure
Family is important. Friendship I never put much value on because my Family is my support system. They have shaped who I am. They will always be here, a part of me, a gift from God, and good relationships with them are important to me. But then, in a way Friendship has become more important to me since DTS, so maybe I should put Relationships as my value. I am no social butterfly, but when I think about it, there are a few Friends whose friendship I value. Many people I am neither here nor there with, but there are a few. [here followed those tantilizing names that I will not post] So:
3. Relationships
Life. Human Life. It is a precious and very much undervalued thing in western society. Women abort their babies every day and most people don't seem to think twice about it. They donate their time, their money, and their Q-points at the grocery store to the SPCA and other animal-related societies, and though I agree that it is wrong to exploit nature or be cruel to animals, I think it's highly over-rated. People are suffering. People are dying. We can make a difference in someone's Life, even help save their Life, but it's the animals that everyone feels sorry for. Not the homeless 'bum' in Downtown East Side Vancouver, or the prostitutes the world over who landed their jobs not through their own choice but through the trickery and deceit of people they trusted. Life matters to God, and it matters to me. So:
4. Life
My Relationship With God is the most important value in my life. I want my life to revolve around this. In a way I guess all my other values fall under this one. Living a life in tune with God produces Freedom. It leads to Adventure. It affects your Relationships. It prompts you to look out for the Lives around you, and try to make them better. So:
5. Relationship With God
--end of journal entry--
If I live my life true to my values, I will be happier than if I had a million dollars, lived in the nicest house, and had all the 'things' I ever wanted. May God help me to LIVE!

Monday, July 24, 2006


My mom and I were talking for a little bit one evening recently (we talk more than that, but this was a short conversation) and she made some comment about knowing what your personal values are and knowing whether you live with them or against them. Got me thinking. What are my values? What things or ideas do I think are important? How can I know I'm living with them unless I know what they are? So I started writing some down. It's very interesting to see what I actually value and what I just think are good ideas but aren't important to me. I suppose in a way I started subconsciously thinking about it in YWAM, but now I'm trying to articulate it for myself. Do *I* actually believe certain things or put value on them, or am I just thinking a certain way because that's what my parents taught me?
Random thought: cold pancakes, raspberries, and whipped cream are very good on a hot day.
Random picture: I took this picture of the ghosts in Maroc. We were waiting for the cook to arrive at our chosen cafe in Essaouira.
Random thought: my accent says I'm from England, Ireland, and most recently South Africa and New Zealand. Can't I talk like the VIer that I am? I'm CANADIAN, and my parents don't have weird accents. Yet I'm often asked (by locals who I THOUGHT sounded just like me. I grew up here, after all) where I'm from.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

A puddle of thinkings from a hot mushy brain

Today is the day I want to be like this and refreshed by an icy cold Coca-Cola. I'm hiding out right now, trying to escape the heat. Maybe I should be in the dungeon where it's a little cooler, but the computer is upstairs so here I am.

My brain is preparing for an interesting conglomeration of books and movies...a book on a 'special needs' kid called Sahara Special (thanks, Jash), one on Natalie Wood (actress--dead now), the movie Jaws, Papillon (Steve McQueen), the Magnificent Seven (western), and Wuthering Heights (Laurence Olivier and David Niven). I love the swirl of topics.

Dad's found a radio station that plays old songs. I've surprised myself by recognizing a few. A lot of the stuff sounds like Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra stuff. Maybe I've heard it on movies. hmm...

A Christian lady who comes by my work sometimes gave me an encouragement card today. It says: "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." -2 Chronicles 16:9 I met her once when she came through my till, and she recognized me after I got moved to the coffee shop. She's made an interesting acquaintance...seems thrilled to find out I'm a Christian. She even invited me to her church. I may go sometime, if I get the time.

Here I get to share one of my favorite paintings by my favorite painter. The picture is called "The Singing Butler" and the artist is a Scot named Jack Vettriano. When I was in Scotland I looked EVERYWHERE to see if anyone had his paintings. I found the first ones in Dundee, and at one of the B&Bs we stayed in in the highlands the placemats had some of his pictures. I love the bold colours he uses. And the ballroom dancing on the beach.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

The time before Once Upon a Time

I feel like I'm back in that awkward transition time of life. I've come from one place and I'm headed to the next, but I don't know where it is yet. And that makes the time...hard. And yet, I feel like I've had assurances from God Himself that He has things under control and that it's all gonna turn out ok. So when I remember that, the future seems exciting. Where's He going to take me? What am I going to do? At times I am impatient for the next part to come because I'm SURE it is going to be great, but that impatience causes me to miss out on the current part which also has it's goodness. It's really going to be interesting to look back and see how it all fits together.
I've had parts of Third Day's song "Rise Up" going through my head recently. It says some of what I'm feeling.

Don't let your heart be troubled
This world will never keep you down
It will never keep you down
So rise up, my friend
[Know] this will never be the end
So rise up, my friend
And live again
...But in your weakness you will learn to find
That I will always be your strength
I know I said I might not update much...well, I guess I need to. So, as long as my wrists will let me, I'll keep at it. But if I disappear, no one call the police. The Serial Killer didn't get me, my wrists probably did. Amy, that's for you.
"Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires." --Ps 37:3+4

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

It's closing in again

How much of life do you just accept and live with, and how much of it do you fight? How long do you ask God for something before you just figure, "hey! I guess it's just not meant to be."?
Aaaagh! I'm going insane! God, give me the strength to last through this one. I know I can't on my own.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Attention! Attention!

The young gentleman wishes to be introduced. This is my little brother Anders. He's the 2006 model, best we could find. Best, in fact, of all the models this year.

Now that he's introduced, I'll just say I probably won't be updating much for a while. Until things get sorted out and I stop falling apart. However long that takes. I hope it's not another year and a half again.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

"Seizing Your Divine Moment" by Erwin Raphael McManus

Living a life pleasing to God is more than just avoiding evil. It's seeking to do good. It's active. Taking initiative. Doing SOMETHING instead of just not doing wrong. When you delight yourself in God He gives you desires. Passions. And He wants you to do something about them, even if it's not quite the thing He wanted you to do. He's God after all, so he can redirect you if it's necessary.
Now I have to practice.

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

It's Rebelutionary!

The Rebelution: A teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture.

Monday, July 03, 2006

Three Ogres Found Guilty in the Assault on Three Dolls

Further investigation reveals that Jane Doe #2, Shelly, and Sam were the casualties of a recent visit to the Johnson household by three rather young ogres, not disiplinary-action-gone-overboard as has been suggested. The Silent Evil One has been cleared of all charges and wishes the Overworked Barista to know that she had nothing to do with the three boys. She has no comment on the girl however.

Oh Canada!

Happy Canada day! I know it's rather late, but I haven't had a chance to post until now. Yesterday I saw an older gent wearing a shirt that said "I'm not only perfect, I'm Canadian!"

My family (minus Rauchelle because she was working) and I drove into town to watch the parade with a "few" of our friends. Just two other families adding up to 6 parents and 17 kids. We had fun. Before the parade started we were entertained by a group of cloggers dancing to a variety of music styles...celtic, North American fiddle, country ("going once, going twice, I'm sold to the lady in the second row...blonde hair, blue eyes and I'm about to bid my heart goodbye!"), honky-tonk, and...African! The lady calling out all the steps was so amusing, the way she matched her voice and the timing of her words to the music.

One thing I always wonder about when Canada Day and the parade comes along is, Why are we so quiet and undemonstrative? Maybe it's just here in my hometown, but though everyone turns out for the parade they're pretty quiet as it marches past.

Anyhow, I'm generally proud to be Canadian.