airhead

I wish I could capture things with a camera as I see them. But it doesn't quite work that way. I mean, when I think about it, I rarely ever see 'reality'...what's there in front of me. Either I see things and my mind is elsewhere (thereby attempting to make use of my VERY poor short-term memory), or when I SEE things, my imagination is engaged and I don't really see them as they are. I see behind things, like a story. What might happen or might have happened in the past, or where it fits in a story that's never been told...but not what's now. And that's what the camera captures...NOW. Is it possible to capture it? Maybe I just have to learn to be better in writing. And yet...Sometimes I think people do capture it. Some of Hillary and Josh's pictures...when you get past the first glance you can see there's a little more than the subject...a hint of a story or a feeling...I shall have to try...

I probably haven't made much sense...a weird thought hard to express...but definatly much more cheerful than some other things I considered saying. And now I must go. Go eat cream cheese and chocolate chips. Mmmm...mini cheesecake!

The girl

...and it went around a girl.

The wall

Once upon a time there was a wall...

Charity and Faith

I've been reading C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity, and came across a very thought-provoking idea when he talked about charity. He said:

"I do not believe one can settle how much we ought to give. I am afraid the only safe rule is to give more than we can spare. In other words, if our expenditure on comforts, luxuries, amusements, etc., is up to the standard common among those with the same income as our own, we are probably giving away too little. If our charities do not at all pinch or hamper us, I should say they are too small. There ought to be things we should like to do and cannot do because our charities expenditure escludes
them. I am speaking now of 'charities' in the common way. Particular cases of distress among your own relatives, friends, neighbours or employees, which God, as it were, forces upon your notice, may demand much more: even to the crippling and endangering of your own position. For many of us the great obstacle to charity lies not in our luxurious living or desire for more money, but in our fear--fear of insecurity."

Am I willing to live like that? I don't know. It would mean relying on God more than ever...and now that I say that it sounds pretty stupid. Relying on God is a GOOD thing! It is amazing to be in that situation...to see Him come through for you in expected and unexpected ways. But can I bring myself to let go?

Happy Thanksgiving!

There is nothing like the feeling of a baby resting his head on you and falling asleep...Is that how God feels when we trust Him?

I've had so much inner turmoil going on recently...I hated days off because I'd just sit and think...and then get so restless I had to take a long walk. Reminded me of last year about this time when Grandpa was sick and I'd drown myself in movies to forget or walk all weekend to relieve frustration (to the still-continueing detriment of my ankle). But now I think things are settling down a little. I still feel a little lost, but I know God'll make things clearer in His time.

Yesterday was interesting. I woke up at 2:00am...tried to go to sleep but couldn't, so I sat in the sauna for about an hour. Came upstairs and started reading a book called "The Names of God" by Andrew Jukes until 6:30. 7:00 went to work. Got off at 4, got home a half hour later and was welcomed by my family and Grandma and my aunt and uncle and two cousins...people really shouldn't have to do homework on a holiday...but it's not MY grade that's on the line either, so I shouldn't talk. Visited with everyone, played Snap and that cup game Hillary taught us, and very suddenly felt hemmed in. Probably from working in such a small crowded space and then sitting at a crowded dinner table and playing crowded games...It was hard to give people good-bye hugs.

I'm sorry if I hurt you Tasha. I didn't mean to.

Watched Without A Trace then went to bed at 11.

So maybe it isn't really interesting to read, but it was interesting to live.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Rule of Life #3

"Unless you have all the time in the world, don't try to boil the water on 'minimum'"

Rule of Life #2

"If at first you don't succeed...
Skydiving is not for you."

...no matter how innocent...

"Whatever weakens your reason, whatever impairs the tenderness of your conscience, whatever obscures your sense of God, whatever increases the authority of your body over your mind, whatever takes away from your relish for spiritual things, that to you is sin, no matter how innocent it is in itself."

--excerpt from a letter Susanna Wesley wrote to her son John



God, forgive me.

"The sun is shining!"

This morning I had to fill the coffee urns with hot water before brewing the coffee, so that the urns were warm enough to keep the coffee warm. So I filled 3 of the 4 urns and set the coffee maker up to brew a pot of dark roast. I shoved the appropriate urn under and started to brew the coffee, then walked down the back and around the corner for a minute to attend to something. When I got back, the coffee was all over the counter and the floor. Took me a while, but I figured out what was wrong: ALWAYS empty the water from the coffee urn BEFORE brewing the coffee!

What a start to the day!

"...He woke up, bumped his head, and wouldn't get up in the morning!"

It's raining. Yes, it is most definately THAT time of year. This morning I had the opening shift, and as I took the chairs down from the tables I looked out at the water in the street. Boy, it was rising fast! Wait a minute! If it keeps raining like this, it won't be long before that's more than rain! What happens if the ocean gets filled up too much? My uniform would get wreaked. I'd probably loose my name tag in my rush to reach higher ground. The bosses wouldn't like that. And all the hairnets would get washed away! Hooray for work without hairnets! In my dreams.

I like this time of year. Jeans, sweatshirts, blankets, hot drinks, books, movies...

Personal note here: Amy, watch out for the SK in Thailand. He'll probably show up somewhere. Don't forget to tell me about it!

"...Just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

Oh brother, am I ever failing. There's a couple of people at work who are driving me crazy right now. I was reading my Bible during my lunch break and I came across Ephesians 4:17-5:19 and got hit by a couple of things. It's a passage talking about...wait for it:

Living in the Light.

You know how when something is bothering you, you just seem to talk about it...to any one who'll listen? Well, here it is in bold red letters:

"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you."

And there you have it. I can't argue that they do things to me and everyone else and therefore deserve to have it done back. I wouldn't want God to do the same with me. So now I have to see how I can learn from this situation. And I will.

Goodnight!

In other news...

I CAN NO LONGER PLAY VIOLIN.

It's the sad truth. My sister and I were jamming together last night, and I discovered that I can no longer feel harmonies on my violin. It's like I can't really hear what I'm playing. Very sad...even though I've lost interest in it this past year/year+1/2, it still feels like a big part of me is gone. But life goes on.

Currently listening: Corpse Bride soundtrack (gotta love Victor's piano solo)
Currently reading: War and Peace, Tom Jones, For Women Only, The Rebelution (blog)
Currently watching: Here comes Mr. Jordan
Currently wishing: That I wouldn't talk so much (shoot my mouth off). And that I wasn't so afraid of living on the edge

Rule of Life #1

"When kicked by an Ass, consider the source."

This [Layne]'s a Pain

by Ed, Rebecca, & Michael Emberley
(original name was Jane, but my own was substituted in tonight by my mother)

Though Layne is just an average name,
This Layne is not your average Layne.
I really could at length explain,
But, in short, this Layne’s a pain.

I should be nice and not complain;
Poor little thing, it’s such a shame,
So pink, so young, yet all the same,
I wish she’d just slip down the drain.

Would someone buy this pain called Layne?
She doesn’t scratch, she’s completely tame,
She’s never been left out in the rain.
No fuss, no mess, we’ve got her trained.

“Please, sir, I would like to complain.
This Layne is really much too strange.
She has no hair; she might have mange.
Look! She crawls—I think she’s lame.

“Is there some deal we could arrange?
Any more Laynes in our price range?
Can we return her in exchange
For some nice Layne who’s not a pain?”

Perhaps I’ll take Layne on a plane,
Then on some tiny local train;
I’ll leave her in the baggage claim,
Then quietly come home again.

It’s not her fault,
She’s not to blame.
She has such a tiny brain.
I guess we’ll keep her—
All the same, I can’t forget,
This Layne’s a pain!

Ray Stevens!

Need a little cheering up? Something to laugh about? Give these songs a try. Just a taste of my favorites.

Mississippi Squirrel Revival
Ray Stevens
the music

Well, when I was a kid I'd take a trip every summer down the Mississipp'
To visit my granny in her antebellum world
I'd run barefooted all day long climbin' trees free as a song
And one day I happened to catch myself a squirrel
Well, I stuffed him down in an old shoe box, punched a couple of holes in the top
And when Sunday came I snuck him into church
I was sittin' way back in the very last pew showin' him to my good buddy Hugh
When that squirrel got loose and went totally berserk
Well, what happened next is hard to tell
Some thought it was heaven, others thought it was hell
But the fact that something was among us was plain to see
As the choir sang "I Surrender All" the squirrel ran up Harv Newlan's coveralls
Harv leaped to his feet and said, "Somethin's got a hold on me", Yeow!

Gitarzan
Ray Stevens
the music

He's free as the breeze
He's always at ease
He lives in the jungle and hangs by his knees
As he swings through the trees
With a trapeze in his B.V.D.s
He's got a union card and he's practicing hard
To play, the guitar, gonna be a big star
Yeah, he's gonna go far
And carry moonbeams home in a jar
He ordered Chet's guitar course C.O.D.
Like A and E and he's working on B
Digs W&W and R&B and even the chimpanzees agree
That someday soon he'll be a celebrity
Get it, get it, get it.

I'm My Own Grandpa
Dwight Latham, Moe Jaffe
Sung by Ray Stevens
the music

Oh, many, many years ago
When I was twenty-three
I was married to a widow
Who was pretty as can be
This widow had a grown-up daughter
Who had hair of red
My father fell in love with her
And soon the two were wed

The Light

I’ve been reading an Islam book that started an interesting conversation with one of the women at work during one of my breaks. Interesting, and yet redundant. Yet another person who grew up in the church and was put off by the hypocrisy, narrow-mindedness, holier-than-thou and judgemental “Christians”. It is unfortunate that we get in the way of people’s view of God. We have a serious responsibility to represent Christ in EVERY part of our lives at every minute of the day. A daunting task in many respects. I’ve been reading 1 John and it talks about this. As I read it I get the chorus of a DC Talk song go through my head:

“I want to be in the light, as You are in the light
I want to shine like the stars in the Heavens
Oh Lord be my light and be my salvation,
all I want is to be in the light!”

“This is the message we heard from Jesus and now declare to you: God is light, and there is no darkness in him at all. So we are lying if we say we have fellowship with God but go on living in spiritual darkness; we are not practicing the truth. But if we are living in the light, as God is in the light, then we have fellowship with each other, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, cleanses us from all sin…. And we can be sure that we know him if we obey his commandments…. Those who obey God’s work truly show how completely they love him. That is how we know we are living in him. Those who say they live in God should live their lives as Jesus did.”
--1 John 1:5-7, 2:3+5+6

I keep catching myself in a 'darkness' attitude. Especially at work. I don't necessarily like working with a few of the people I have to work with, and I find myself working mechanically just so I don't say nasty sarcastic things. But what kind of witness is that? If I am to walk in the light, I need to do more than just refrain from saying or doing harmful things. I need to be proactive. Cheerfully give my all when I work, to the benefit of the customers, my co-workers, and my employers, regardless of whether I like them or not. Because when I do that, I'm not really doing it for them but for God, and His character is reflected. I can't make people change their minds about who God is and what He's like, but I can to the best of my ability copy Jesus' example and maybe one day they'll not see me but see Jesus inside of me. Above all things, this is what I want. To be invisible, letting the Light shine through me unhindered.

The plot for world domination

You HAVE to watch this interview. Click on the link and the interview is on the bottom left-hand corner of the page. Brigitte Gabriel talks about growing up as a Christian in Lebanon and gives an interesting perspective to the conflicts in the middle east. Even if you have absolutely no interest in what's going on there, it impacts your life and everyone needs to be aware or we'll be next. They are already trying to infiltrate Canada, the US, and making great headway in Europe apparently.

If you can devote and hour to watching interior decorating shows or Oprah or a soap opera, you can manage 45 minutes listening to this.

I know I sound pushy and demanding. But really, how many people will really look at this? Huh? I admit I'll be surprised if I find out ONE person followed the link and watched it. Even if it was just for 2 minutes.

Scissors of Low Intelligence: are they a hazard to society?

A pair of low intelligence scissors was lying on the road today. If they had been smart they would have been lying off to the side where they could stab unsuspecting tires and cause the vehicle careening over into on-coming traffic. Instead, they were lying there right in the middle of the lane.

I wonder how smart my scissors are? I should sit down and have a chat with them.

...

You know what? They may be smart, but I've found out there's rivalry between them. See, the brown pair is older and more dull. The white pair is newer, sharper, and more popular with the main population in my house.

If you only have one pair of scissors, or if yours get along fine, someday you should ask them these two simple questions and see how they answer:

1) When lying in wait for unsuspecting tires, do you lie in the middle of the lane, or to one side?

2) When falling from a human's hands, is it better to open up and provide more sharp points to stab the toes below, or keep closed and have your full weight come down on one toe?

I suppose then we should also ask "Are you out to get us?"

A random question I hope someone might attempt to answer

You know how a rattlesnake's teeth curve in so that whatever they start eating they can't spit out again? Well, when one starts eating a rabbit from one end and another starts on the other end and they meet in the middle, what goes through the mind of the snake who fits in the mouth of the other? What's he thinking about on his way down to the other's stomach?

Happy Birthday Grandpa

Here's my Grandpa. He would be turning 80 today.