five values I want to live my life by

Ok. So, I've thought some more on those personal values and have an idea of what's important to me. I suppose the easiest way is just to slap in here what I wrote in my journal. If it appears a little disjointed, just remember I wrote it as I was figuring it out.

Freedom to do what I want when I want where I want without monetary restrictions. Freedom to give to whoever I want. I guess a lot of Freedom to me is also no putting value on things; possessions. You know? For example, if I felt led to live in the dodgy part of town and invite a socially unacceptable person over for supper, I wouldn't want to worry about missing cutlery. To walk down the street and have no restraints on giving your pocket money to the street artist trying to earn enough money to buy his next meal. Maybe written out this doesn't sound like a part of Freedom, but in my mind (where it matters) it is. So:

1. Freedom

Adventure would be another value that is important to me. I don't want to live a dull humdrum life. I don't want to live the life of security and comfort. I want to be comfortable, but not at the price of Adventure. I want to take that leap (or even just that step) of faith, not knowing what will come of it, but knowing it is right; it is the Adventure. So:

2. Adventure

Family is important. Friendship I never put much value on because my Family is my support system. They have shaped who I am. They will always be here, a part of me, a gift from God, and good relationships with them are important to me. But then, in a way Friendship has become more important to me since DTS, so maybe I should put Relationships as my value. I am no social butterfly, but when I think about it, there are a few Friends whose friendship I value. Many people I am neither here nor there with, but there are a few. [here followed those tantilizing names that I will not post] So:

3. Relationships

Life. Human Life. It is a precious and very much undervalued thing in western society. Women abort their babies every day and most people don't seem to think twice about it. They donate their time, their money, and their Q-points at the grocery store to the SPCA and other animal-related societies, and though I agree that it is wrong to exploit nature or be cruel to animals, I think it's highly over-rated. People are suffering. People are dying. We can make a difference in someone's Life, even help save their Life, but it's the animals that everyone feels sorry for. Not the homeless 'bum' in Downtown East Side Vancouver, or the prostitutes the world over who landed their jobs not through their own choice but through the trickery and deceit of people they trusted. Life matters to God, and it matters to me. So:

4. Life

My Relationship With God is the most important value in my life. I want my life to revolve around this. In a way I guess all my other values fall under this one. Living a life in tune with God produces Freedom. It leads to Adventure. It affects your Relationships. It prompts you to look out for the Lives around you, and try to make them better. So:

5. Relationship With God

--end of journal entry--

If I live my life true to my values, I will be happier than if I had a million dollars, lived in the nicest house, and had all the 'things' I ever wanted. May God help me to LIVE!

values

My mom and I were talking for a little bit one evening recently (we talk more than that, but this was a short conversation) and she made some comment about knowing what your personal values are and knowing whether you live with them or against them. Got me thinking. What are my values? What things or ideas do I think are important? How can I know I'm living with them unless I know what they are? So I started writing some down. It's very interesting to see what I actually value and what I just think are good ideas but aren't important to me. I suppose in a way I started subconsciously thinking about it in YWAM, but now I'm trying to articulate it for myself. Do *I* actually believe certain things or put value on them, or am I just thinking a certain way because that's what my parents taught me?

Random thought: cold pancakes, raspberries, and whipped cream are very good on a hot day.

Random picture: I took this picture of the ghosts in Maroc. We were waiting for the cook to arrive at our chosen cafe in Essaouira.

Random thought: my accent says I'm from England, Ireland, and most recently South Africa and New Zealand. Can't I talk like the VIer that I am? I'm CANADIAN, and my parents don't have weird accents. Yet I'm often asked (by locals who I THOUGHT sounded just like me. I grew up here, after all) where I'm from.

A puddle of thinkings from a hot mushy brain

Today is the day I want to be like this girl...cool and refreshed by an icy cold Coca-Cola. I'm hiding out right now, trying to escape the heat. Maybe I should be in the dungeon where it's a little cooler, but the computer is upstairs so here I am.

My brain is preparing for an interesting conglomeration of books and movies...a book on a 'special needs' kid called Sahara Special (thanks, Jash), one on Natalie Wood (actress--dead now), the movie Jaws, Papillon (Steve McQueen), the Magnificent Seven (western), and Wuthering Heights (Laurence Olivier and David Niven). I love the swirl of topics.

Dad's found a radio station that plays old songs. I've surprised myself by recognizing a few. A lot of the stuff sounds like Bing Crosby or Frank Sinatra stuff. Maybe I've heard it on movies. hmm...

A Christian lady who comes by my work sometimes gave me an encouragement card today. It says: "For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him." -2 Chronicles 16:9 I met her once when she came through my till, and she recognized me after I got moved to the coffee shop. She's made an interesting acquaintance...seems thrilled to find out I'm a Christian. She even invited me to her church. I may go sometime, if I get the time.

Here I get to share one of my favorite paintings by my favorite painter. The picture is called "The Singing Butler" and the artist is a Scot named Jack Vettriano. When I was in Scotland I looked EVERYWHERE to see if anyone had his paintings. I found the first ones in Dundee, and at one of the B&Bs we stayed in in the highlands the placemats had some of his pictures. I love the bold colours he uses. And the ballroom dancing on the beach.

The time before Once Upon a Time

I feel like I'm back in that awkward transition time of life. I've come from one place and I'm headed to the next, but I don't know where it is yet. And that makes the time...hard. And yet, I feel like I've had assurances from God Himself that He has things under control and that it's all gonna turn out ok. So when I remember that, the future seems exciting. Where's He going to take me? What am I going to do? At times I am impatient for the next part to come because I'm SURE it is going to be great, but that impatience causes me to miss out on the current part which also has it's goodness. It's really going to be interesting to look back and see how it all fits together.

I've had parts of Third Day's song "Rise Up" going through my head recently. It says some of what I'm feeling.

Don't let your heart be troubled

This world will never keep you down

It will never keep you down

So rise up, my friend

[Know] this will never be the end

So rise up, my friend

And live again

...But in your weakness you will learn to find

That I will always be your strength

I know I said I might not update much...well, I guess I need to. So, as long as my wrists will let me, I'll keep at it. But if I disappear, no one call the police. The Serial Killer didn't get me, my wrists probably did. Amy, that's for you.

"Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires." --Ps 37:3+4

It's closing in again

How much of life do you just accept and live with, and how much of it do you fight? How long do you ask God for something before you just figure, "hey! I guess it's just not meant to be."?

Aaaagh! I'm going insane! God, give me the strength to last through this one. I know I can't on my own.

Attention! Attention!

The young gentleman wishes to be introduced. This is my little brother Anders. He's the 2006 model, best we could find. Best, in fact, of all the models this year.
















Now that he's introduced, I'll just say I probably won't be updating much for a while. Until things get sorted out and I stop falling apart. However long that takes. I hope it's not another year and a half again.

"Seizing Your Divine Moment" by Erwin Raphael McManus

Living a life pleasing to God is more than just avoiding evil. It's seeking to do good. It's active. Taking initiative. Doing SOMETHING instead of just not doing wrong. When you delight yourself in God He gives you desires. Passions. And He wants you to do something about them, even if it's not quite the thing He wanted you to do. He's God after all, so he can redirect you if it's necessary.

Now I have to practice.

It's Rebelutionary!

The Rebelution: A teenage rebellion against the low expectations of an ungodly culture.

Three Ogres Found Guilty in the Assault on Three Dolls

Further investigation reveals that Jane Doe #2, Shelly, and Sam were the casualties of a recent visit to the Johnson household by three rather young ogres, not disiplinary-action-gone-overboard as has been suggested. The Silent Evil One has been cleared of all charges and wishes the Overworked Barista to know that she had nothing to do with the three boys. She has no comment on the girl however.

Oh Canada!

Happy Canada day! I know it's rather late, but I haven't had a chance to post until now. Yesterday I saw an older gent wearing a shirt that said "I'm not only perfect, I'm Canadian!"

My family (minus Rauchelle because she was working) and I drove into town to watch the parade with a "few" of our friends. Just two other families adding up to 6 parents and 17 kids. We had fun. Before the parade started we were entertained by a group of cloggers dancing to a variety of music styles...celtic, North American fiddle, country ("going once, going twice, I'm sold to the lady in the second row...blonde hair, blue eyes and I'm about to bid my heart goodbye!"), honky-tonk, and...African! The lady calling out all the steps was so amusing, the way she matched her voice and the timing of her words to the music.

One thing I always wonder about when Canada Day and the parade comes along is, Why are we so quiet and undemonstrative? Maybe it's just here in my hometown, but though everyone turns out for the parade they're pretty quiet as it marches past.

Anyhow, I'm generally proud to be Canadian.

A tramp down to the beach

I like to 'bush-wack', so I take the path-less route down to the beach. Gives me the best of two worlds: the woods and the ocean. But I think I like the woods best.

My beach is rocky as far out as you care to walk. Funny, because my house is just across the hi-way and sits on a lot that is 40 feet deep of sand. Nice beach sand. Maybe it used to be the beach?

There aren't usually starfish on this beach, but every once in a while you'll find one. One time the beach was just covered in them. Mostly just purple and pink ones like the one in the picture.



If you walk along far enough you just might find a very small sandy patch like this one. I sat here thinking about everything and nothing, watching the pattern of sand flowing from my hand to my bare foot until rain began to fall. Fortunately some friends of my parents were staying in their RV at the campground that day, so I hung out with them until the rain stopped. They told me all about their recent trip to Israel, I told them a little about Morocco, and some how they ended up giving me all sorts of advice on dating and boys. *grin* One of their biggest complaints seemed to be that most of the guys who woo their future wives on the dance floor quit dancing once they get married. So guys? Go ahead and dance in the kitchen when she wasn't quite expecting it. I saw an older couple recently who were dancing on the beach.

If any of you tall people ever wondered what the view was like from down here, well, here it is. Dad used to laugh at me because I would insist on blowing out the candles mounted on the wall myself, but I had to climb into the window in order to do it. Stools wouldn't be quite high enough. *grin* Amazingly, though, my feet do reach all the way to the ground!

Four Dolls Held Hostage and Tortured. Police Suspect Foul Play

Jane Doe #1























Shelly






















Jane Doe #2























Sam

I'm from Kiwiland?

"Where's home for you?" the gentleman asked as he pulled a debit card from his wallet.

"North of here," I told him, wondering why he asked.

"And before that home was...?"

I looked at him quizically.

"Are you from Australia or New Zealand? You have an accent."

I grinned. "So I've heard. Most people guess it's a slight british accent. I was born and raised in BC, though, and my parents don't have accents like that."

It's out now. The other cachiers know about my never having been to school and having 7 siblings. Again I am the oddity. The evening they found out, I couldn't stop grinning at all their reactions. "There's EIGHT kids in your family? And you've NEVER been to public school?" You got that right. Never been to any kind of school. It's really not as uncommon as you think.

I'm reading The Oath by Frank Peretti...just about finished. It's the first of his books I've read and I've found it fascinating. A nice detour from my general genre of books. I don't usually read science fiction...watch it, but don't read it. I think I'll pay more attention to him from now on.

I was thinking about my Grandpa today. I heard something, don't remember what...something someone said, or a song or something...and that triggered it. I remember going down Island sometimes to visit on Father's day. I was looking at some pictures the other night too.

I'm not really sad...just...thoughtful? nostalgic? And quite disappointed that he never got to see Anders.

INTRODUCING...

The one and only Jen Miller!

This music (particularly the song "Hold On") never fails to make me think of Scotland. She's gonna be famous someday.

left to right: Saida, Jen and Amal in Essaouira.

Paper or plastic?

"Would you like paper or plastic bags today?" I ask ever so sweetly.

"I hope I have enough money!"

All day long I ask, and half the answers I get have nothing to do with the question. The next time I decide to be a cachier I'll do it where the general population doesn't wear hearing aids.

Start to a great day

Yesterday the first person to come through my till was a lady. I said my usual "Hello Ma'am, how are you today?" and she stopped, looked at me for a moment with her head slightly tilted, and asked, "Are you a singer?"

"No..." a little bemused. "Why?"

"Your voice just sounds like a singer's. An Irish or Scottish singer. You should give it a try sometime."

I'm in love!

There's a song whose chorus goes:

My heart is full, my heart is full/ Why could I want for more/ When my cup overflows?/ My heart is full, my heart is full/ This much I know.

I suppose that sums up how I've been feeling recently. There's Someone who keeps sending me roses. I think I'm in love. He knows just the kind I like. The simple wild roses with a delicate scent.

He's shown me the intricasies of the stones down at the beach. He even arranged to have a couple of seals show up and slap their tails around for my amusement tonight.

There's so much. So much to say, and no way to say it. How do I let out what's inside? But You know what's there. You can see it when I can't express it. Thank goodness for that, or You'd never know.

Absolute Truth

The danger of millions of years

CREATIONWISE Cartoon

“Christianity has fought, still fights, and will fight science to the desperate end over evolution, because evolution destroys utterly and finally the very reason Jesus’ earthly life was supposedly made necessary. Destroy Adam and Eve and the original sin, and in the rubble you will find the sorry remains of the son of god. Take away the meaning of his death. If Jesus was not the redeemer that died for our sins, and this is what evolution means, then Christianity is nothing.”

G. Richard Bozarth, “The Meaning of Evolution”, American Atheist, 20 Sept. 1979, p. 30